Just a Girl

now what.........

2011-03-30T12:37:00.003-05:00

It' so weird to think that its been over a year since I have written a post. I love how in my darkest and brightest times, I always return here. My place, my place to do and say whatever the hell I want. Oh how I have missed you.

I didn't cry today. I didn't wake up angry. I woke up done!

A week ago, I said over and over, if I am not a mom then who I am. Who is that person and what in the hell am I going to do now. YES, my son came home on a Sunday and said 6 words that forever changed my life. I WANT TO LIVE WITH MY DAD! I cried and cried and cried some more. How? Why? We sat on the couch and together we cried. He told me loved me, and that I have given him everything. That he had given me 16 years and he just wanted to give his dad 2. He left 3 days later..........

Today to the day its been a week. The worst week of my life.

But something happened this morning. A change, a change in me. I remembered #19 - "It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else."

and in that moment....... I said I got this. I dyed my hair, I have lost 5 pounds simply from not eating, I am giving my cats to a good home, I am moving to a smaller apartment, I FINALLY burned my sisters letters. My family is freaking, they say wait a month before you make any big decisions you might regret. NO!!!!!!

I AM an amazing mother. I have raised a beautiful child and that in itself is priceless. I will not spend one more day crying and unable to leave my couch. I will chop off all my hair in a week. I will move in less then 45 days. I will give my cat's away. I will find a new job. I will have meaningless sex with whoever I choose. I will not buy any groceries. I will change my friends. I will change my life.

I have spent 16 years giving everything in me to one purpose, raising my kid. And I did a damn good job. But now, its my second childhood and I can promise you its going to be the best one EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

just a thought

2010-01-24T12:29:00.003-06:00

hi.

so last night at 2:30 in the morning my brain wouldn't let me sleep. I seem to have insomnia of sorts lately or maybe its insomnia of the brain. It took everything in me not to login to blogger and let out a thousand thoughts. I just kept hearing my mom and her damn 24 hour rule, you know wait 24 hours before you send the awful email, pissed off text, etc. I am not even mad at anyone in particular just people in general. My dad for not being a dad and then dying. A friend for not seeing who I really am. Others, who seem to have judgement on everything I do yet spend very little time in my life. I get up and I get dressed just like everyone else. I do my best not to pass judgement on others in my life. Maybe I should do a better job at not passing judgement period. Maybe this is my karma, my payback. Its funny last night and for most of the day yesterday I kept hearing words in my head. Words that have been said to me over the past month from so called friends and my family. Its allot to take in sometimes, every ones thoughts and opinions on your life.

Well if you have read my blog before then you know I haven't been as close to god as I probably should be. And yes I spell it with a little g. In October of last year I read "the shack" and for the most part that has changed. We have our talks now and were working out the kinks. Last night I was so frustrated that I grabbed his book and put it on my chest and screamed FINE I give up. Then I said what I seem to always say which is show me a sign. So I told myself I am going to open this book and will just see what I am "supposed to read". When I opened it, it was the last page of Job and the point basically was to pray for your friends and in return good will come to you. Yes not groundbreaking, but it made sense to me. I prayed for my friends and I had a talk with god and I slept with my bible.

Today, I am not cured. I haven't witnessed a miracle. However, I know I can do this. I am going to be fine. I do feel better today. Maybe I need to just do what I need to do and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. and just maybe I NEED TO HAVE A LITTLE FAITH!

Side note: thanks god!

Tin Truths 35

2010-01-14T09:59:00.002-06:00

1. Days of a runny nose means snot in your mouth..and ya not fun.

2. I am determined to be productive today.

3. My son is being teenager and I am praying he doesn't age me too much.

4. The first drink of Red Bull smells like throw up.....still.

5. I hit over 2K lines on Tetris, yes I am a master.

6. People who MISS judge me really piss me off.

7. Its even worse when those people are your friends.

8. The toy I did my review on awhile back got lost in the move.

9. I don't even want to think about what the movers are doing with it.

10. Only I control my destiny and dammit its going to be a good one.

Side Note: I think I am happy bunny, just saying.

just another decade

2009-12-31T13:24:00.002-06:00

I guess I will always be an airhead at heart. The other day I was sitting around with friends and they started talking about the next decade. I sat there very quiet thinking wow what are these people talking about....the next decade wont be for another 990 years. That night I learned that a decade was 10 years and all of a sudden I didnt just have hope for 2010 I had hope for the new decade.

So today my Tin Truths is dedicated to the past and to the future.

1. The last 10 were the most painful years of my life.

2. I end 2009 forgiving and losing my dad.

3. I end this decade forgiving, missing, and loving my beautiful sister.

4. Watching my amazing son grow over the past 10 years has been beyond priceless.

5. I start this next decade 35 and so ready to conquer the next 10.

6. I got through this decade I can get through anything.

7. I will travel in the next 10. A trip with my son. A trip with my mom. A trip for just me.

8. Poker is in my Professional future this go round.

9. I will strive to be happy and eliminate anyone or anything that hinders that.

10. I will raise my son into a man.

I can't wait for the NEXT ONE! jag out.

Side Note: I don't have those rain boots. But I so wish I did.

I Wanna Know!

2009-09-30T01:16:00.001-05:00

1. Why is yeah spelled yeah and not ya.

2. If you are a nun what religion are you? Or do all religions have nun's?

3. Where do Gnats come from? Is there a momma and daddy gnat?

4. Why does the cheap bubble bath work better then the expensive stuff?

5. If your fish was blind, how would you know?

JUST ASKING!!!

My Night at the Playboy Mansion!

2009-09-29T09:59:00.003-05:00

I got a call on Thursday afternoon from the playboy mansion. The gentleman on the phone said he wanted me to come hang out for the weekend to see if I would a good fit as one of Hef's new girlfriends. I ran home packed clothes I didn't even know I had and headed off. When I got there I was given everything I ever wanted. My toes were done, my hair was colored/cut/straightned, and a makeup artist did my face. I met the other bitches, I mean girls and decided I had no competition. I couldn't believe how skinny I looked in that Red DIOR. We all jumped in a limo and went out for the night. We had dinner and danced till morning. Hef was a perfect gentleman although his brother was a little creepy. The next morning I was told I was a keeper, I had the opportunity to live in the mansion for at least 6 months. HELL TO THE YA. But then where would my son go? UHHH no the other girls aren't watching him. I mean I am sure he would just love that, but no. It is now Friday Afternoon and I have 2 hours to find sexy dresses, figure out where my son is going and get back to the mansion.....

all of a sudden I here a phone ringing. Seriously isn't there staff for this, can someone pick up the damn phone. And who keeps breathing in my face????

ant, ant, ant, ant.........yeah you guessed it. It was my damn phone and a certain little stalker kitty who had decided to wake me up by suffocating me.

Let me just tell you, it was fun for a night but I wouldn't want to live there!!

Side Note: I did ask if I had to have sex with Hef and I was told no, I just have to call him Daddy! WEIRD!

Goldfish, Not Vodka, will be the death of me!

2009-09-28T13:28:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I wish it was easy to update on blogger as it is my phone. Or for that matter that facebook would just automatically link in. UGH.

My weekend was great, fun, aggravating and beyond annoying, all in one. So here are my updates!

- Weight loss is going well. I have lost 2.5 pounds in 5 days and I have to admit I cheated half those days. I hope this week goes a little better. I have to lose 11 by October 23!

- The 100 calorie packs in my life are killing me. I am not a carb freak but one of the hardest parts of dieting for me is the loss of the "crispy crunchy" a cracker, a chip, or god forbid a "goldfish". What's been saving me is the 100 calorie goldfish and cheese nip packs. I haven't broke down and had 2 in a day yet, but I just feel its coming. Thank you Pepperidge Farm!

-My boys won (hook em') and I spent good times with my friends. I work from home so my interaction with adults is limited at times. It feels good to get out and have adult talk, wow that kindof sounded dirty!

-Saturday I went to a very interesting place. Its called Ghost Town and you guessed it thats what it is. An older man named George has been building it for 10 years, and its his passion. It has an outside movie theater, a beautiful stage and countless buildings he built with his own hands. The stage is intimate and is surrounded by star lights hanging down, fairy lights (ie christmas white lights) and colored lights as well. A cute boy got up there and sang, I was enamored. I just haven't decided if it was the lights or the mystery boy, lol. Add that in with the best burger and fries I have ever had in my life and well ya good times. This place is set in a place that you would never know it was there. I am glad I got the memo.

-At times I wish this blog was still small. I always said that I would never filter myself on here. Yet right now that is exactly what I find myself doing at times. I have even began to make my facebook list smaller, the ones who get my blog. I think we can all look at ourselves and find things to better in our lives. I am taking a hard look at my life and working on a few of those everyday. I am also working on keeping my mouth shut in situations where my words will make no difference. A lot of times we have expectations of how things are going to go, this always sets us up for trouble. I think having an expectation of a conversation is even worse. Because then it doesnt even matter what the other party has to say, you or they have already formed opinions.. And when the conversation is coming from people you love its best to look at their motive and not their words. I looked at the motive and am trying very hard not to let the words bother me. Over the years I have become a very judgemental person. It started out that I just had a strong opinion and now that opinion has turned into judgements. From all of this I take a little and I leave a little, and I walk away with a true feeling of what it feels like to be judged. Next time I will try a little harder not too. I am in a very good place right now and I thank god for that.

Other then that, I am leaving in 3 days and I can't wait. I am getting the hell out of here. I am 35 and I haven't spent a weekend with my whole family in years. Most of us will be there. My son gets to enjoy the coast like I did as a kid. There will be fishing, laughing, giggling, cooking and drinking. And I get all aunts and uncles in one place. Well all but one.... UNCLE JOE, I love you and you will be missed. So cross your fingers that the days go by FAST!

thats all folks.

Tin Truths 34

2009-09-24T10:48:00.002-05:00

1. I have considered throwing both my cats out the door today!

2. I am missing a friend even though she did me wrong.

3. I have been having weird dreams about pudding pops.

4. I need a new toy.

5. I have 17 bottles of Mr. Bubble on my counter.

6. I hope she's ugly.

7. I am getting rid of everything.

8. My comeback is going to be big.

9. Its so freaking cold right now my nipples hurt.

10. I CANT WAIT TO MOVE!!!!!

Side Note: I am not suzy freaking homemaker, so....if anyone knows how to make good homeade pudding pops help a girl out.

Side Note 2: Shame on you for even thinking that fat girl comment. They make Sugar Free Pudding you know!

Just a Fatty!

2009-09-23T16:45:00.003-05:00

Here we go again! If you want to follow my fat ass to skinnyness you can click the link below!

just my road to skinnyness!

Side Note: Is it weird that I love my title!!!!!! love myself, even fat I love myself!!

Ups and Downs and Downs and Ups

2009-09-23T12:06:00.002-05:00

Hi Yall".

Let's see what's new.

Well I am a still just a single, fat girl, who's attempting to make some major changes before I turn the big 36. The last few months have been awful. I think sometimes life takes its turns for better or worse and all we can do is go along for the ride. That has been a hard thing for me to understand. I am the one that says "it's just not fair" and "why me" and "what are we even doing in this life". Today is one of those days where I feel like the fog is starting to clear and I am looking forward to some up's for awhile.

As most of you know I started this blog a year ago as I was going through a break-up. Wooo what a road that was! So here are some updates on my life, and from here I can go back to my sweet, smart ass, self.

God- Yep I am pulling out the big guns. God and I have had some trouble over the past few years. I guess maybe you could say we have been in a little fight. I am opening my eyes back up to "faith" and we are slowly starting to have our talks again.

The X- Believe it or not we are now friends. Something we probably should have started out doing to begin with. He is the first X I have kept in contact with and I have to say I am glad we remain in each others life. Feels good to start to feel normal again. He has made me an offer I can't refuse and more of that will come later.

Housing- I am moving out my 3 bedroom house into a 2 bedroom apartment in less then a month. I am very happy to get into less house. No yard to mow, no sink to fix. Its TIME!

Me- Well I am still living in single land. I attempted to go on a few dating sites but never posted a full profile. I am open to dating but its not high on my priority list. I love happy hour, and no I am not an alcoholic. Just a social butterfly who enjoys a martini in hand, lol.

Weight- I am still a skinny girl living in a fat girls body. I am starting a new blog to follow me down my road to skinnyness. I will post that link later and you guys can watch me succeed or fail. Either way it will be interesting and in true Jag fashion.

Well that's it for now. I will be around more. miss ya guys and glad to be back.

Side Note: Reading blogs has been low on my list. So I have allot of catching up to do. Tell me the biggest thing that has happened to you in the past 90 days. Good or Bad, I can take it!!!!!

I refuse to apologize everytime I leave.....

2009-09-01T08:30:00.002-05:00

it"s just me, take me or leave me. When life becomes too much, I simply put the covers over my head. Not the healthiest solution but better then dragging everyone around you down with your eyeore days.

Sometimes you just have to hug yourself. Not its not deep thoughts by jag, I mean seriously lay in your bed in the morning. Wrap both your arms around you and hug yourself, it feels really great. Now if I could just have sex with myself, I would be good to go. Oh yeah, I can have sex with myself. Oh how i crack myself up.

Today is day one of day two. I am jumping back in feet first and we will see how this round goes. I am getting some pink speakers today...........but pretty sure I am returning them. Although I want them sooooo bad, that is a post within itself. I am counting the days down to Saturday, thank god for longhorn football. Beyond that nothing but a big dark hole and as you can see I am inching my way out.

Side Note- Aren't the speakers beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tin Truths 33

2009-07-30T11:15:00.001-05:00

1. My kitty's got worms and it was nasty!

2. Football practice starts in a few days, I can't wait!

3. Grass isn't greener some have to learn the hard way!

4. LOVE being BS'd NOT!

5. Match is way better then Yahoo personals.

6. Sex is within days, I can feel it.

7. I want a garden tomato, I want it.

8. I have to remember that I can't drink sake w/sushi.

9. Monday is going to be interesting.

10. I dont have a 10, I cant believe it.

Major Monday.

2009-07-27T12:46:00.002-05:00

Major changes my friends. Major changes.

This weekend I spent time with family and had a great time. Last year I wasn't much of a pool rat but this year its all I want to do. I am going to have to find a new pool that I love. My pool just sucks.

I am excited for today for many reasons. Its time for me to pull my head out of my ass and get with the program. Not only from a business standpoint but from a personal standpoint as well. I am going to take an internal jag roll call and start wiping people and things off my list. I am going to put my plan on here so I hold myself accountable.

Weight- As of today I weigh 164 pounds. The frustrating thing about me is that for whatever reason I "wear" my weight well. No one ever believes me. But yes I am a fat fuck and I have put it out there for all to see. I have planned my meals out for the entire week and am committed to working out 6 out of 7 days a week. Today I will be walking 4 miles, and doing 100 crunches. Oh and for the record my last supper was Chicken Fried Steak, Fried Okra, Buttered Sweet Carrots and Sweet Tea. Ya I am in TEXAS! today its fiber cereal and grilled chicken, yum.

Business- I have gone back to square one and am taking inventory of all my accounts. Its time to wake up and go back to making things happen.

Personal- I am up on two dating sites and in a few weeks I will make the jump to go on my first date. I dont want a relationship but I do want to meet new people. I am also going to be making a pact with myself to stop reaching out to people who don't reach back or give nothing back in return. Too many people in my life just take me for granted and I am over it. I am here and they should be lucky to have me in there lives if they cant see it, it WILL be there loss.

Family- I am going to make more time with my family. Even if it just means spending a few hours at the pool or having lunch. In two weeks a bunch of us are going to see "Music Man" and I can't wait. It feels amazing to be around people who love you, who understand you and who make an effort to be in your life.

Other then that pretty much status quo. I have been irritated for a couple of days and I think its just because a lot has gone on in my life over the past few weeks. I have been giving myself unrealistic expectations for not only myself but for people around me. I have to start living for me and fuck everyone else. I have to step forward and stop taking so many steps back. Anywho I will keep you all updated on my amazing progress, because yes it will be amazing.

In closing- I would like for you give me some advice. Tell me one thing that you do for YOU, or one thing that you have in your life that is no one else's.

Tin Truths Thirty Two

2009-07-23T13:05:00.005-05:00

1. My kittens sound like ewoks, for some reason they can't meow!

2. I am finally tan, YES!

3. I am now on two dating sites, this should give me lots of material.

4. Today my job gave me a great jump start.

5. Right now I am loving cherry vanilla ice cream by blue bell.

6. I really hate being the one that gets the brunt of it.

7. Today I will find time to get wet!

8. I read the Big Brother live feed updates, daily.

9. My grass is dead.

10. I have started the process of putting my 1 yr blog into a book!

And I missed my own Birthday.....Nice.

2009-07-22T12:03:00.002-05:00

Yeah so I am a lazy ass! What can I say. As of Saturday, Last Saturday....I have been blogging for a year. I want to thank the academy, my readers, my followers, my friends and my family. This was something that I wanted to do for a very long time. I read my first post, and I am proud as to how far I have come. When I read back to the beginning I realize that things do get better and we do get stronger. I have made life long friends because of this blog and I have given myself an outlet to say whatever I want, whenever I want. Thanks for being here to share this with me. I am excited to see what my next year brings.

Do with it what you want!

2009-07-15T11:31:00.003-05:00

The next however many paragraphs will be beyond a rant and rave. So read it or come back tomorrow.

An Open Letter to Kenneth D. Lewis CEO of Bank of America-

I am not sure what happened to the day and age of customers being important or for that matter your desire to keep your customers. It seems that in this type of economy you would want to keep each and every customer that you currently have. Are you in a position that Bank of America is making so much money that you can afford to lose a few customers here and there? Actually based on your questionable business practices I will assume the answer to that is yes.

I will tell you my story and what you choose to do with it is up to you. I however have the right to let the public know, exactly how Bank of America treats their customers.

I currently bank with your Georgetown, TX location. Towards the end of June, I went into the negative in my account and was charged 7 overdraft fees. I was also charged an additional $35 for what was called "Extended Overdrawn Balance Charge". This wasn't the first time in my life that I have had overdraft fees. However, I was shocked to find that on top of the 7 fees I got the extended one as well. I didn't complain when this happened I paid the $280 dollars and realized lessons learned. I won't get into all the exacts about how, when or why I had overages, but the two weeks before that, other things were more important then following this as close as I should have.

Fast forward to 15 days later and here entails the problem. In a down economy like this one I am sure I don't have to tell you that $280 out of someones pocket that wasn't budgeted, is a big deal. Or actually maybe I do have to tell you. Maybe you make so much money that you forget about the little people. Maybe you forget that sometimes life happens and some things are out of our control.

On July 14th I realize that my account was in the negative by $47. In reality it was only in the negative for $29.50 because there was a charge for $17.50 that was in pending that was never going to clear. Regardless that morning of the 14th I deposited $60 dollars in my account. More then enough to cover what was over. This morning I wake up and find that I have 8 overdraft charges. Another $280 dollars!!!!!!! Are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!! I start to scrub through my account and I realize that you paid the highest withdraws first. You chose to pay the highest charge first even though it was days after the smaller charges. Had you of paid them in order I would of had 1 overdraft with you at best. Not to mention the fact that I put a deposit in immediately to cover the charges. So instead you pay the high ones and let charges of $13/$10/$7/$6/$3/$3/$2 get hit with overdraft charges. This is beyond ridiculous.

As soon as I saw the charges in my account this morning I called Bank of America customer service. The gentleman that I spoke to was VERY cordial and got me to a supervisor named "Lydia". I explained to "Lydia" my situation. I told her all the above that Bank of America had gotten a total of $560 dollars out of me for the past two weeks and asked her to look at my account a little closer. I expressed to her that I didn't expect my charges to be taken off every time but this time I felt I was in the right and I wanted them removed. She took about half a second to say NO and tell me that $78 was all that she was WILLING to remove. At this point I was in tears and asked to speak with her manager, she informed that I couldn't speak to her and that she would take my number and have someone call me back in 48 hours. I explained to her that I had made a deposit within 4 hours of noticing anything wrong with my account and that Bank of America wasted no time in charging the fees and that I wanted to speak with someone now. She again said no one was available but her, she said this over and over and then HUNG up the phone.

Immediately I drove to my local branch. The gentleman that I sat with was very nice although he said he couldn't do anything without the managers approval. I explained my situation and told him that I was ready to cancel my account. That I wanted all 8 fees removed and that I was ready to go as high up as needed. He logged into my account and saw that the lady that hung up on me had credited me $78 dollars and then locked my account so that no further fees could be deducted. He said the only thing we could do is look at the fees before and talk to the manager, she put back in my account $122 dollars. So in all I was credited $200 back in my account. He told me that this was more then most people get back and that I should be happy. That fighting it wouldn't be smart. I was told that I could go up as high as I wanted but from his experience it would do no good. I left came home and this is where I sit, wondering what in the world happened to customer service. What happened to morals or sometimes people doing whats right even if its not written in the handbook.

I am beyond mad and you will lose a customer over this. What sense does it make to "tell" your customers that the highest charge is paid first because "you" assume its priority. When in reality all the charges get paid. You simply pick and choose which ones you "LIST" as paid first. In my situation had you of paid it correctly as it came in or for that matter took two seconds to look at my account, I never would have been charged that many overages. It makes me sick to think how much money your company makes a week buy using these practices. I can understand if you weren't going to pay the small charges. But you were going to pay them how else could you collect your fee. I wont reduce myself to making idle threats about telling everyone I know to choose another bank. I will however put my words out there on every blog, feed, twitter and send this to anyone else that will listen. I will let people make there own judgement about your practices.

Anyone other then a robot should have been able to look at my account as a person and realize that what I was saying was correct. They could see the deposit I made and everything after, instead I was made to feel like an idiot customer that didn't matter. I don't claim to be the perfect banking customer. Have I had overdrafts in my life, yes. Haven't we all? Do I call and complain every time I get a charge, NO. Should I have been treated better, YES. Someone please tell me why I should ALLOW Bank of America to be my bank. Is your ego so large that you don't realize that you need us just as much as we need you. So yes my complaint is over $80 but at this point its not even about the $80 its about a company that doesn't care about the little people. And that is just sad!

Your Former Customer.

NTR #69

2009-07-14T15:46:00.002-05:00

Yeah so I couldn't resist, so what!

My mind is full of beyond randomness this week.

-3 little girls were swimming in the pool last week. 2 were about 6 and they were whispering about the rules of being a mermaid. ie. never let them see your tail. It was too cute but the best part was when the little 3 year old kept saying what because she couldn't hear them. Finally she just says "hey mermaids, sometimes I pee in the pool." laughed my ass off.

-still at 0. However now I have a plan!

-I am somewhat starting to get tan. I could live in the water.

-Going to a Pimp's and Ho's party this weekend. This should be interesting!

jag out!

I Love #12

2009-07-11T09:31:00.001-05:00

Just in time for summer. This spray oil is awesome. It has an SPF of 12 and it comes in higher SPF's as well. My cousin turned me on to this and I love it. I think the spray sunscreen is one of my favorite technologies. So of course oil was coming next. Yes it smells amazing, Yes it comes out in a continuous spray, Yes I love it.

Tanning Dry Oil w/SPF 12, by Hawaiian Tropic ($6.99)

So, two girls walk in a bar....

2009-07-10T00:15:00.000-05:00

young, cute, fun, amazing, beautiful, smart, awesome, well you get the picture. We go to the bar order a drink and start to talk about god. I don't know why I am giggling right now as I write this but I just find that funny as shit, and its the truth. Anyhow across the way is stalky, stalkerten. You know the guy that is at the bar hugging it already when you walk in. Freakboy starts asking me questions and trust me I am being VERY nice! I answer them and smile or I should say I answer them and SUCK down my jim and coke. After awhile I am seriously over saying what, what, what did you say. Hey fatboy why don't you come over here so I can hear wtf you are saying. Okay, no I didn't say fatboy and yes i am a fatgirl so I will say fatboy whenever the hell I want. I am already irritated when he comes over because apparently not only is he a fat, freakboy, stalker he is also deaf and he cant retain information! ughh! He comes over and tells us that he had been there since 4! Ding, Ding, Ding, that explains it all bud. The next question that came out of his mouth will be with me forever. " So were you guys alive when Elvis died?" WTF, WtF, WTH, seriously. Alive when Elvis died?!? The point is, this guy is out there! That was definitely a first.

So, two girls are still sitting at the bar. And for the record, this is the best part. behind the bar a new bartender is being trained. Already I am particularly not impressed. Partly because I am bitch and partly because I like my usual bartenders. Behind us walks up Mr. nice guy when he is sober, fun guy when he is buzzed and an obscene monster when he is drunk. At the moment he is fun buzzed guy. He then says to me a line that cracked me up. I felt like for one second I was living in a man's brain, and I LIKED it!! He says: "Damn the new girl is already dressing like it's rent week." I laughed my ass off. I had never heard that before but he assured me it was all too true. So tacky yet so great. Anywho that's all folks!

Tin Truths 31

2009-07-09T10:56:00.004-05:00

1. Last night I had sex with a vampire. (dreams count!!!)

2. Forbidden jungle might be my new favorite drink.

3. I can read over 800 wpm, yes I am awesome!

4. I decided to let god back in my life, not as deep as it sounds.

5. I still need SEX!

6. Forgive me lord, for I am going to sin!

7. I think one spoon of ice cream is enough!

8. I wish I could live on cereal and not get fat.

9. I saw the face of a 1 night stand from 7 yrs ago last night, uhh!

10. I wish I had 50 of the "The Shack" books, I want to give one to everybody.

Caitism's #2

2009-07-08T11:14:00.004-05:00

" is wondering why boys complain about girls taking forever when they actually exist within their own alternate version of time. "

Wrap it UP!

2009-07-07T10:49:00.000-05:00

The Friday before the 4th was awesome, spent time with my favorite girls. A mini ya-ya of sorts.
I am committed to working out and so far have only missed one day. Does it matter that I have only been working out for 2? NO!
I read the "The Shack" I won't say that it was life changing, but it was life changing. More about this subject to come.
Vibrators and Teenagers very FUNNY what kids think when they find them!
I realized I am a speed reader I read the Twilight series in days. Those books could of been half the size!
Life is good!!!!!!! My blog birthday is coming up and I can't wait.

jag out.........

Side Note: You can get the shirt here.

Caitism's #1

2009-07-01T01:24:00.000-05:00

This series hopefully will be here to stay. I have a cousin who is a little younger then me, okay maybe a lot younger!!! But her mind works in a beautiful way. She says the simplest things yet sometimes her thoughts are so profound. I didn't think it was fair that only I got to enjoy these Caitism's! So for the next few weeks enjoy!

" The first bite of watermelon is the first real sign that summer has started.

The first stomach ache from eating too much watermelon is the first

real sign that you have eaten too much watermelon! "

by, da cuz

I wanna know!!!

2009-06-30T10:00:00.002-05:00

Do you like to smell your own farts? be honest!!!!!!!

What is your one indulgence?

Do you think big ass roaches are afraid of the light?

What uses more energy your ac or 500 fans plugged into your outlets?

Midgets, Roaches and Roping PART 2.

2009-06-26T09:32:00.004-05:00

OMG! Too freaking much. So remember how I just said that I won't step foot in the living room. Well when I finished my post right now, I got up to go get my shoes out of the roach room. When I walked in I had to crack up. I wondered why for the past hour there has been no sign of my two little kitty cats. Apparently I am not the only one in the house SCARED of human eating roaches. Apparently these roaches not only terrorize humans but they EAT kittens. My son took the two kittens, their food, water, cat box and toys all with him in his room to sleep last night. Too damn funny.

And here this whole time I was PRAYING that the kittens ate the damn thing. Shit, we are at square one.

Side Note: Not to mention the fact that I think my son said last night that the thing crawled over him. CRAWLED over him. Somebody get me out of here!

Midgets, Roping and Roaches!

2009-06-26T09:04:00.003-05:00

I can already tell that today is going to be one of "those" days. I woke up this morning and literally had to just lay there a minute and slowly take in what happened last night. First of all at some point I had multiple conversations with a 14 year old about a roach in the living room. Conversations that included me telling my son to shut my door and stick a towel under it. If you never knew before that I am a heavy sleeper this should be my tell. I am TERRIFIED of roaches and yes I am assuming this freaking thing was a tree roach. SO for me to have to just gone to sleep means I was tired. Because right now its taking everything in me not to go in there and wake him up to get the exact details. Had I of been awake we wouldn't of slept till my son had that thing out of the house. I won't step in the living room and I am in my office with my feet in my chair right now and I won't let my blanket touch the ground. THIS SUCKS!

As I am laying in my bed getting through the roach fog, I realize I have midget roping fog that I need to think about next. Yes you heard me midget roping. I have this crazy ass dream that my X and I and a few other couples are all at the park. For some reason he takes off his shirt and decides he wants to play soccer. So he runs off far ahead of me. When we finally get up to him he is a midget and every time he catches the ball this fat "carnie" ropes him like a damn pony and brings him back to this shade tree so he can throw the ball. In my dream this only happens once and I am shocked that my X didn't get mad. This was beyond bizarre and I don't even want to know what this one means.

Side Note: Please no offense to the little people, but I couldn't exactly keep writing little people over and over now could I. HA cracking myself up, but seriously no offense.

Side Note 2: Uhhh ya I guess you don't rope pony's you rope calf, sorry! Oh and get it.......ping bug, lmao!

Tin Truths 30

2009-06-25T16:10:00.002-05:00

1. Tarantulas give me the heebeegeebees, bigtime!

2. I think it's 110 today........my point, its freaking hot!

3. Chocolate Lucky Charms at midnight are sooooo good.

4. They are even better after Popeye visits.

5. I still love my kitties!

6. I wanna touch myself, sorry couldn't resist. and by the way who doesn't?

7. Tomorrow will be Aderall day.

8. I think I could live on cereal.

9. I don't generally drink beer, but today I am craving it. Dos Equis!

10. Its going to be a long summer, I really hope its a good one!

JFC #6

2009-06-21T12:52:00.000-05:00

Click here for a larger view!

UHHHH, What the hell is in my bubble bath.

2009-06-19T12:27:00.002-05:00

I am addicted to baths, big time. The other night I got in my bathtub and was admiring everything around me. My pink candles, the warm water, the beautiful new bottle I got to hold my Mr. bubble and then..................WTF is in my freaking bubble bath!!!! Is that a BUG!!!!!!! Damn mosquito got in my bottle. NoW, if I was a normal person, I would just move on with my day with no thought to this BUG. However, I am not a normal person. All I kept thinking about was all the virus's those nasty ass things carry. I had a talk with my inner paranoid self and we decided as a team that I had to throw out the bubble bath. We couldn't take the chance of infecting our bath water with WEST NILE. Yes, welcome to my world.

The week ended way better then expected. I am very happy for life to be back to normal so to speak. I am thinking about changing my blog "look". If you know of anyone that does this let me know. I want something simple!!!!!!!

Now...Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me. Lets talk about...........well you get the picture. I do this "sing song" thing as my cousin calls it. When I want to get off the phone with someone I start to sing song my words. Never noticed it till she pointed it out about 2 years ago. Luckily, I don't have those tells in poker. Not even sure why I just told you that! My point is that I have been walking around for the past two days signing song verses. I guess I am in a good mood. What I can't understand is why the verse I have been saying over and over is "bitch better have my money". I love the dirty lyrics in rap songs. Something so taboo about saying "you can lick my lollipop". AND I wonder why my kid laughs at "Bangkok".

Well that's all folks!!!!!!!!!

Side Note: If there is a song verse you sing that is dirty and sticks in your head at the weirdest times, tell me about it. Happy Friday!

Best Blonde Joke Ever!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-18T09:29:00.002-05:00

A friend of mine sent this to me and I love it, love it, love it!

Q: How do you get a Blonde to break her nose?

A: Put a dick under a glass table!!

And I lost a reader!!!!

2009-06-17T23:19:00.005-05:00

Sorry I must be boring someone with my posts. Good news I am getting the kitty!!!!!! My X was here in December when Blackie died. It was heartbreaking for us both. Today I was very excited to get an email from him telling me that he was getting the kitty for me. So ya, the orange one will be mine in the morning and I named her Cheeto!

I don't know how many of you have seen this already but when I read it I had to share. Its written by a woman named Regina Brett who is a columnist.

NOW.......I WANT EVERYONE TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME........even you lurkers. I want to know that you are out there and I want some damn comments. So take 2 minutes and PReTTY please tell me what number is your favorite!!!!!!!

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Side Note: Just DO IT already!

Side Note 2: Yes, I have the shoes!

I want the kitties.......I WANT THEM!!!!

2009-06-16T23:14:00.004-05:00

My beloved Blackie has been gone since December. It has been awful and it has taken me a long time to decide if I wanted another cat. I was convinced I was going to be a turtle mommy, but as you all know that shit didn't work out. Today I decided to go craigslist surfing and I found this little girl(the orange one). I instantly fell in love with her and named her cheeto. Tomorrow I will find it if she is mine. AND then.............10 minutes later I found out she has a brother. My son is begging me to get them both. I have always wanted persian kittens, did i say ALWAYS! So here it is the first glance at my "maybe" new pets. I just really hope this lady comes wayyyyy down on the price so that I can get them both.

cross your fingers kids! this is exactly what I need!

Side Note: and yes I totally feel like the girl in the willy wonka who says. I want a golden ticket daddy, I want it.

WTF? Volume 8 Edition 6

2009-06-16T10:14:00.000-05:00

To say that I am weird about food is an understatement. I have so many crazy ass rules when it comes to food that sometimes I shake my head at myself. But what I saw the other day was not only mind blowing it was down right disgusting.

So lets talk about milk. My milk rule is that I don't drink milk past 2 days before the sell by date. I don't like to drink milk when its hot outside and I don't like drinking milk out of small plastic containers from the convenience store.

A few weeks ago I went to Sonic and ordered a milk, only because of an upset stomach. When I got the milk I checked the date like I always do. Mind you the day I was getting the milk it was like June 3. The drink by date on the milk was AUGUST 3!!!!!! WTF??? 60 days... the milk is good for 60 days are you freaking kidding me. I asked the lady how is that even possible and she looked confused as to what the problem was. I looked on the front label and it said ULTRA- Pasteurized. UHHHH Ya I guess so.

And NO, I didn't drink the milk. Does anyone else think that's nuts??? Cleverly... Wacky is on the front of it, which is my mind is an understatement!

Side Note: Ground breaking post, huh...not!

Side Note 2: I had to spell check convenience, 3 times. That is a long ass word!

Just............The longest week of my life.

2009-06-14T23:20:00.004-05:00

It started Sunday night. My son called me in tears from his friends house, complaining of a major headache. At the time I thought it was "just" a migraine. I found out real quick at the doctor on Monday, that it was way more serious. He went straight to the hospital where they found out that he had meningitis. He was in the hospital for a week and luckily it was viral. It's strange how one thing can domino into so many emotions and different events. I have to tell you that I now have way more respect for those parents who deal with special needs children. For 6 of the past 7 days my son needed me 22 hours a day. When it was all said and done, I was proud of myself for getting through it. Here are ten things about last week. Look for lots more this week as I suddenly have a ton of material.

1. Dell Children's hospital is amazing. What a difference a hospital that caters to children makes!!

2. My family constantly amazes me. When I need them the most they are there, and I never have to ask!

3. I always know that I love my son. But this week I realized more then ever, that you have to cherish every moment. Good..Bad..Indifferent.

4. Hospital food really SUCKS. But I never get tired of drinking milk out of those tiny cartons.

5. Everything happens for a reason. I think I have this one figured out.

6. I am feeling very overwhelmed with my life right now, and I am questioning everything!

7. In times like these, you find out who your true friends are.

8. I can no longer handle people in my life who lie.

9. I learned Bunco, I loved Bunco and I hated Bunco. All in a 24 hour period.

10. I wish someone would hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay.

Side Note: I know all will be better soon. Right now it just feels like more then I can handle.

JFC #5

2009-06-14T12:49:00.000-05:00

Joe Vanilla by Mark Litzler

Click here for a larger view!

JFC #4

2009-06-07T12:46:00.001-05:00

In The Bleachers by Steve Moore

Click here for a larger view!

Does anyone know the number........For

2009-06-06T14:39:00.004-05:00

BPS!!!!!!

That would be Bird Protective Services. What is the deal????? First I wake up this morning to a chirp factory in my back yard. I handled it and even appreciated the chirping for a few minutes. But now its 2:45 pm and the mommy bird is freaking MIA. And these fuckers wont shut up.

So it got me to wondering, what do mommy birds do all day. They feed their children and then they get the hell out for the day. Smart birds but not very fun for me, the new babysitter!!!!!!

Too FUNNY!

2009-06-05T01:34:00.001-05:00

The New F***ing Citibank - watch more funny videos

Tin Truths 29

2009-06-04T12:11:00.002-05:00

1. I am now the mom of a High Schooler!

2. I finally learned how to make my Aunt's, Macaroni and Tomatoes.

3. I quickly became addicted to " I'm a Celebrity, Get me out of here".

4. I am starting to wonder who my true friends are.

5. People from my past are coming out of the wood work.

6. I am on the hunt for a tree for my back yard, suggestions???

7. On #6, no oak=no roaches, right?

8. Crawfish season is almost over, so sad.

9. I think no is the new yes.

10. I think I want to learn how to skateboard.

Side Note: Okay, maybe I only want a pink skateboard!

They're BACKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-03T09:59:00.004-05:00

Most of you know that I am total dork. I do some of the dorkiest things, wait is dorkiest a word? (screw it, now it is). So last night I got to HEB to get just a few groceries and it felt a little twilight zony. But those stories will have to come last. Right now we have to talk about the main attraction.

MY MOTHERS CIRCUS ANIMAL COOKIES, are back.

I couldn't freaking believe it. There I am minding my own business when bamm, I run smack dab into an end cap that has all the bags. I felt like a kid seeing Santa for the first time. I stopped I rubbed my eyes and looked again. Then I stood there in awe and said STFU! So ya that didn't last long. My original post was 10/22, so it didn't even take a year.

On the other stuff, I think the grocery store is usally a miserable place to be. When I go I try to get in and out, with as little contact with anyone as possible. This time was different. I went in a good mood I felt like my eyes were wired wide open. That being said there are some FREAKS at the grocery store. It wasn't as bad as walmart. But definitely a place where you could throw around a thousand stereo types. The one that stuck out the most was the bitch mom, her 5 year old husband and the two little fat kids dumb and dumber. At first I felt bad for the lady the 2 boys were running around and of course dad was egging them on. In the cheese isle even I was annoyed, somebody control these fucking heathens. But by the time I got to the meat isle it had turned cute. Those brats didn't want to be at the store and either did the dad. They were all trying to make the best of it. This mom was MEAN! And although I am sure it was the situation....I had to ask myself. WHY, would you want to take any of them to the store to do a weeks worth of shopping? In my opinion she asked for it.

Side Note: RPM and Ken, you guys rock! Friends don't let Friends go without cookies! Thanks again for my circus cookies, one of the coolest things ever I have gotten in the mail!

JFC #3

2009-05-31T12:45:00.000-05:00

Click here for a larger view!

JFC #2

2009-05-24T12:18:00.000-05:00

For Better or For Worse

Click here for a larger view!

I love #11

2009-05-23T11:21:00.001-05:00

A few months ago I read about this product on someone's blog. I forgot who's so if it was your blog, leave me a comment and I will link. When I first read the post I wasn't so sure. I am a bit of a product snob and in the past I haven't been very impressed by any of Neutrogena's products. However, after reading the comments I decided to give it a try. Oddly enough this was because of all the comments saying that this product tingled and burned a bit. No pain, no gain. I am happy to report that I am on day 4 and this product will give you results. My face not only looks clearer but it has a healthy glow as well. I get recurring breakouts on the right side of my chin from my phone. NOTHING, has helped with these breakouts until now. This stuff gets 5 stars!

14 Day Skin Rescure, by Neutrogena ($23.99)

Just Drink The Koolaid and STFU!

2009-05-22T10:21:00.003-05:00

Whoa........easy now tiger. As my son used to say when he was little, "mom, take a calm down, take a chill out".

It's Friday bitches and I am in rare form. It's a beautiful day in my neighborhood and I can't wait to get this weekend started. But before we do that I have to talk with a few of you about "FB".

Yep, Facebook.

Last July I was at a family picnic/reunion, when one of my cousins told me about fb. When I first heard about it I thought it was going to be like myspace, soooo not like myspace. Bottom line if you haven't signed up you really should, its a great way to keep up with people, without really keeping up.

Now for the good stuff. For those of you who already have fb and have a blackberry, I am about to get completely geeked out on you. Most of you probably have an application on your blackberry already. However, they just came out with a new app. This one pulls in the pictures, phone numbers and blackberry contact info. Its super cool, check it out.

Have a great memorial day weekend! Drink lots of beer and have lots of sex! Two things I have had very little of lately!

Tin Truths 28

2009-05-21T10:06:00.000-05:00

1. Mango Limeade at Sonic Rocks!

2. Facebook continues to amaze me.

3. I love Spencer Pratt.

4. I still don't know what's happening with my body.

5. I saw "the burbs" for the first time, funny as hell.

6. My son calls me "wiki", and yes its cause of wikipedia.

7. I love swimming, hopefully I start dropping the pounds.

8. I have been wondering lately, when did gobstoppers get so small.

9. For my birthday one friend gave me cupcakes and a scale. hmmmm

10. Favorite Quote this week.."pics or it didn't happen".

Side Note: Yes, the mower is pink! If I had that I would mow daily!

Halfway to 70!

2009-05-14T10:22:00.000-05:00

They say it's my birthday, duh na nah nah na. You probably all want to ask me the same question. How does it feel to be Halfway to 70? No different. I still feel old!

I have always loved birthdays but as you get older they become not a big deal. I have never been married so it's the one day where I get to feel special ever year. Yes, it's all about me. This year I got some pretty special things from my mom/son and had to share!

1. I got a peace sign on a chain and a wine bottle charm. Both are from James Avery and they are super cute. thanks guys.

2. The picture you see above of the dragonfly's was painted by my mom. She has such an amazing talent. She has only been doing watercolor's for about 6 months and her talent is clear as day. She has done quite a few paintings that are gallery ready! Anywho my beautiful painting sits in my office now and I LOVE IT!

3. The coolest gift out of all of them was the book that you see above. It's the complete tales of Beatrix Potter in the original order and exactly how they were sent to be printed. Before each story, there is a story about the story. Also the book has 4 stories never published..........Last Year I saw Miss Potter the movie for the first time and I fell in love with it. I am a big happy ever ending kind of girl and this book fit that in every way. The first time I watched the movie I watched it 3 times in a row. It is the ONLY movie out there that I can watch over and over. A few months after, my mom watched it and she loved it. Its set in the early 1900"s and its based on the true story of Beatrix Potter. I hate to sound gay here, but what an inspiration to us all. This gift was beyond thoughtful! I have read it every night, and for the past few days it has slept with me. Yes I am a dork.

Overall 34 was interesting. Definitely allot of lessons learned. 35 is going to be about me. I am going to be selfish the entire year, I think I earned it. It's funny what age does to us, yes it just another year, and yes its just 35, and I am sure some of you think that is very young. But its still getting older no matter how you look at it. I look forward to getting myself in shape and finishing my 35 before 35.

Happy Birthday, Jag! You freaking made it to 35 aka "halfway to 70".

Side Note: As I was writing this my Mom showed up with a beautiful bouquet of pink gerber daisy's and a beautiful card. What a great day it has been so far!

I Wonder Wednesday 2?

2009-05-13T16:03:00.002-05:00

Can water heaters blow up?

Do lizards eat spiders?

Do you ever sit around and think about dumb ass shit for no reason at all?

What do you want to know?

This One Never Gets Old.

2009-05-12T09:37:00.001-05:00

Michael Flatley is the guy from Lord of the Dance. This video is a spoof and its freaking awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your welcome for today's laugh.

Every Freezer needs just one!

2009-05-11T13:55:00.005-05:00

A few weeks ago I went over to a friends house to play poker and his wife turned me on to these chicken wings.

Let me start by saying that I am a food snob, and I don't like cooked crap in a bag and then frozen. Until I tried the Tyson's Anytizers frozen buffalo wings. They are freaking delicious. The flavor is spot on, the chicken wings have a ton of meat on them and they are easy to cook. That last sentence sounded so fucking martha stewart that I am throwing up a little in my mouth as we speak. Not cool! My last tip on these babies and I can't even believe I am saying this...... but, you might as well just microwave them they actually taste better that way. 4 minutes, who would of thought. add to these a small bowl of homemade hidden valley ranch (out of the packet) wheww....well you are on your way to coronary heaven!

Now on to the important stuff.

What is your favorite part of the chicken?

and

What is your one wow frozen food find? (and NOOOOO ice cream and dessert doesn't count) (and if you don't like that too bad, write your own damn post.)

JFC #1

2009-05-10T07:08:00.000-05:00

I have decided to post my favorite comics on Sunday's. As a child I enjoyed Opus so enjoy my first edition! If it's too small to read click here or click on the photo for a bigger version.

I love #10

2009-05-09T07:02:00.000-05:00

Finally one for the boys and girls. I am a flip flop fanatic. Because of this my heels stay very dry all year. This stuff is AMAzing! It is the first product I have ever used that actually takes care of cracked feet. It smells so good, its not too greasy and most importantly it works!

Reinventing The Heel, by Origins ($20)

Toby Take 2.

2009-05-08T07:42:00.001-05:00

I love turtles and tortoises, they don't cough, slurp, smack or bark. They have a simple beauty that I adore.

A few years ago my mom decided to get me a turtle. The only problem was that it was a red eared slider. I started reading up on these things and I found out that some have salmonella. For normal people this wouldn't be a problem.....Have I told you that I am a hypochondriac? Needless to say I scratched that idea and decided to buy a baby tortoise which I named Toby. I only had him a few months. The fucker wouldn't play and decided he was going to sleep all day and only come out at night. This really pissed me off! So I gave him to one of my son's lizard loving friends.

On Sunday, I am driving with a friend and I spot a huge turtle on the road. Yes, the one in the pic above. I think SCORE, if this thing can handle cars zooming by then he isn't a shy one and we will become fast friends. I get out of the car to grab him and he is huge, but before doing so I put on gloves cause yes he is a salmonella carrier. I pick him up and tons of water starts coming out of his shell. I am grossed out and I'm convinced he is pissing everywhere. I later learn it was water. I put him in the floor board but of course I am not putting any of my body parts anywhere near this thing. This is where I have to laugh because yes I do love the animal, truly this shouldn't be that hard.

I get him home and I am very happy to have a little backyard friend. Well that lasted 2 days. Because on Tuesday I went outside to the shock of a hole in my fence, no turtle and my neighbors very happy dog. We retrieved Toby and luckily he wasn't hurt. I decided I had caused him enough pain and took him to a very nice river/park in my town. Yes I did the right thing but now once again I am turtleless and back on the hunt for my next turtle adventure.

Tin Truths 27

2009-05-07T07:33:00.000-05:00

1. I am in the process of learning how to make a turtle pond.

2. When I buy plants or animals they die.

3. I think Mother Nature hates me.

4. I am very proud of my son for accepting responsibility for his actions.

5. No, he didn't get anyone pregnant!

6. I am a James Avery Fanatic.

7. In 7 days I will be half way to 70.

8. My new love is Corn Tortillas.

9. I have decided I want to date me who are 40+.

10. The Swine Flu thing freaked me out.

I Wonder Wednesday?

2009-05-06T01:00:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else check the toilet for snakes before they sit down?

The bitch is back!

2009-05-05T09:12:00.005-05:00

Oh a little controversy in the morning is always fun. Here is where I proudly inject my foot and refuse to take it out.

Today I watched the news video about birth control for men. My first thought before reading the story was its about damn time. My second thought was, is any woman out there going to trust a man to take his birth control every day? That being said I can promise you if I was a man I wouldn't be relying on a woman to ensure that I didn't get somebody knocked up. I would be triple wrapping that sucker every single time.

So I start to watch the video. In the intro it talks about how its a shot for men and its reversible. The second the lady said that, I could feel my blood start to boil. Reversible, are you fucking kidding me. The technology for a woman is a freaking shot that makes us gain 128 pounds, and makes it harder to get pregnant when we get off it. Not to mention the obvious, uhhh..........we are the ones that have to have the baby.

This is where I am sure I piss somebody off. So I am thinking WTF? Who the hell out there has so much time that they are trying to come up with a master shot for men instead of trying to make the female shot better.

The answer is MEN in CHINA.........enough said!

What are your thoughts!

54........What A Beautiful Number!

2009-05-04T11:47:00.005-05:00

My mom turned 54 this weekend and she is as beautiful as ever. She is my rock, my best friend and definitely the love of my life. Mom, these 54 things are for you.

54 things that I love about my mom!

1. I love that you can grow anything in a garden.

2. I love that I get the fruits from those gardens.

3. I love your laugh.

4. I love it even more when we giggle on the front porch.

5. I love that when I was little, I was never too big for a Saturday afternoon picnic.

6. Even if it was just in the backyard.

7. I love that you will take the fish off the hook.

8. I love that you understand that I won't.

9. I love when you rub your face, when your stressed.

10. I love that you smile about it, when I point it out.

11. I love that you found your soul mate.

12. I love it when you tell me I will find mine.

13. I love that you have beautiful legs.

14. I love that you aren't afraid to show them off.

15. I love that when I call you in tears, you always know why.

16. Especially when I call and you say"dammit, are you watching Terms of Endearment again".

17. I love that you are as great of a daughter, as you are a mother.

18. I love that you are an even better Grandma.

19. I love your strength.

20. I love that I draw from your wisdom and lessons learned.

21. I love that you still get excited about the little things.

22. Like getting new glasses.

23. I love your adorable haircut.

24. Every time I see it, it just reminds me of a pixie.

25. I love that you never judge me.

26. Even when I need to be judged.

27. I love to see you dance.

28. Mustang Sally forever bonds us.

29. I love that you take all my "sick" calls, very seriously.

30. I love even more that you hardly laugh.

31. I love your inner hippie.

32. The lesson of Karma, has been a priceless one.

33. I love that you have found a new passion.

34. I can't wait to see the fireflies.

35. I love that you take a strong stand in your community.

36. I love that you found a place to call home.

37. I love your commitment to family.

38. I love even more your commitment to B.

39. I love that your such a great listener.

40. I love that you now say "everything is going to be okay".

41. I love that you follow my blog.

42. I love it even more, when we laugh and have our "talks" about it.

43. I love the way you smell.

44. That is a scent I wish I could bottle and have forever.

45. I love your humor.

46. I love that you we both get the “far side”.

47. I love that at 34, I can still crawl in your bed.

48. I love it even more that you still cuddle.

49. I love your cooking

50. I especially love your beef strogaonaff.

51. I love that we were together for the past.

52. I love it even more that we are each others future.

53. I love your heart.

54. I love you, Happy Birthday Mom!

Mom, I love you so much. I can't wait to spend time with you this weekend!

A reminder.....

2009-05-01T05:40:00.000-05:00

Yesterday as I was catching up on my blogs I came across "jormen's" post on "The Nemesing One". While I was gone it seems that he passed away. I am sure that most of you know this all ready but I felt like I needed to post this anyways.

When I first started blogging he was one of my first commenter's. The daily banter between him and I always put a smile on my face. Sometimes perverted, jaded, insightful, yet always entertaining. As I was reading the post, tears were streaming down my face. How could this be that he had passed. I spent the next hour googling "The Nemesing One" in a attempt to get any kind of answers. In doing so I came across "Siren's" post and if I thought I was upset before this put me into full blown sobs.

My mom was also a faithful reader of his. She would call me sometimes to talk about his posts, long before I ever had time to read them.

Our readers are "our friends". I couldn't believe the kind of emotion I had over someone I had never met. But I did know him, and he knew me. We all share things on our blogs that are intimate. We laugh, We cry, We give our thoughts and We do all of this together. You are all my friends and you are all a part of my life, even if in a small way.

I am a believer in the little things in life. Below is his last post that he had written should anything happen to him.

Due to various health problems, he believed his time might well be short. As it was, a car accident and drunk driver accounted for this fine soul of outrage passing over.

He'd prepared a final post to say his last piece and give a few more funny thoughts to his readers:

"I enjoyed my time blogging and getting to know some of you. If any of you are sad, please don't be. I only wanted to make you laugh, and I'd hate to see a negative net benefit to you. So buck up little campers. It's all good.

Please be aware that all you hotties that I've sexually harassed on my blog, I'm watching you shower and me likes!!!! My 2" killer is even smaller now, so that's kind of a bummer."

Side Note: Nemesing One.......You will be missed!!!!!!!

Tin Truths 26

2009-04-30T10:10:00.003-05:00

1. I am a tetris master, my high score is 1799 lines in 32 minutes

2. The worst thing about a gluten allergy, no Jim Beam.

3. I finally know how to BBQ steak

4. Being a bad kisser is definitely a deal breaker.

5. The new cat is gone, and I am happy about it.

6. I love doing laundry, I hate folding my clothes

7. I am in dire of need of hot, dirty sex.

8. I could live in the bathtub

9. I think I was a mermaid in a past life.

10. The lizards are back and the stalking is worse than ever.

Detox Finale

2009-04-29T11:51:00.001-05:00

Click here for the final blog on My Detox Journey.

She Lives!

2009-04-29T11:13:00.002-05:00

First let me start off by saying...DON'T google hand from the grave. Yes, I know half of you are already alt-tabbing over to google. You would think after all this time of googling my creepy radar would be working a little better.

I am happy to report that I am alive and back. Hopefully, I haven't lost all my readers! I have been "lurking" on your blogs and reading all of your emails. Kacy, I got your shout out and loved it.

I wont make excuses. It felt like pressure. With everything else going on in my life it was like that person that calls you over and over and you just don't want to answer. I haven't even logged in to blogger. I was scared to see how many people I had lost.

The great thing about today was that the second I logged in and saw "my" blog, a huge smile came across my face. Yes team, I think I am ready.

Anywho enough with the fucking mushy, soul searching crap. I have lots to tell and plenty of stories to follow. I lasted like 5 days on the detox and yes black sludge does come out your ass. Just in case anyone is wondering. I finally got my X out of my damn house and have been working on project "get all his shit the hell out". I know clever and yes I came up with it.

My son is grounded for life which I am actually enjoying. My mom's birthday is coming as well as my own. I completely fucked up the 35 before 35 and now I am definitely going to be playing catch up. Jormen you were right, does that make you happy! ugh!

I will now close with what I think is one of the best poems I have ever heard. This came from a friend last night off facebook.

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Spurs fans are sick

and its not Swine Flu!!!

Love it. Glad to be back. See you guys tomorrow.

jag out.

Randomesque

2009-03-27T10:26:00.002-05:00

I think its the rain or something but today has already been about as random as it could be at 10:33 am.

I got up this morning early as hell and took my son to school. I decided I would get him one of those steak and egg burritos from jack-n-box. Lets talk about these things for a minute. I am not a big fast food girl, but these are so freaking good. Its eggs, tater tots and steak meat (think taco bell steak meat) all wrapped in a tortilla. I know this sounds crazy but if you haven't had one of these go get one. I am not sure why I did this to myself considering I am not eating food for 10 days. Although, I think the smell alone will carry me through the rest of today.

Then I came home and guess who was waiting for me at the door. I can tell you it wasn't some hot ass guy coming over to do dirty things to my body. damn! It was that freaking cat. Yes, the one that showed up and decided it was going to move in. The one I hate! The one that will be taken to the pound. Oh and save all your sad stories this cat is soooooooooo not my problem.

Next I decided I needed to venture into some porn this morning. I don't know why. Well I do know why, apparently I am a perverted freak who needs to watch sex so I don't forget how to do it. Actually there are times that I really enjoy watching porn. I wont spend a lot of time on this because "mom" reads you know. But today I had to crack up. Generally I like pretty porn, many pretty people. I don't want to watch nastyness and I prefer pretty basic stuff. Today I go to youporn. I didn't want to waste a lot of time so I went to top rated for the year. I clicked on one video called "on cloud nine". At first glance I thought this is sooooo gay, and by gay I don't mean sword touching! The other gay you know the harmless one. Anywho, after watching a few minutes of it I was surprisingly turned on. Afterwards I thought this is the perfect porn video for women who act all shocked about porn. It really was like a wedding night porn shoot but realistic. If your interested go check it out. I would love to know what someone else thought.

Now that I have shared the two things I am clearly lacking in my life. Food and Sex, I will get back to work.

MC Day 2....wowzer

2009-03-27T10:07:00.000-05:00

Day 2 on Master Cleanse........Click here to read.

MC Day 1 Update

2009-03-26T19:02:00.002-05:00

I am now adding a link to my sidebar for anyone that wants to read about my journey on this detox. Here is my first update..........Day 1 update.

Somebody help me!

2009-03-26T14:06:00.003-05:00

Okay so after a year of procrastination I finally did it. I bought the lemons, syrup and pepper. Today will be day one of the master cleanse. Now, my blog will not turn into a huge master cleanse blog. But I will be letting all you peeps know my progress.

So on Day 1 my fat ass weighed in at 170! Yes folks there is a reason I am doing this cleanse. I will let anyone know that is doing this for the first time. The Syrup is not cheap at all. $16 dollars a bottle and that will only last a couple of days. I am going to attempt to do this cleanse for the full 14 days so any support would be great.

This morning I made the concoction. 2 liters of water, 12 tbls of lemon juice, 12 tbls of maple syrup (grade b or higher only) and 1/4 tsp of cayenne pepper. I have read in other places that people said the lemonade was great. I am here to tell you, it's not so great. The cayenne gives it a strange flavor, that is NOT appealing. Because of this tomorrow I will be taking cayenne capsules instead.

With this detox/diet you are supposed to do a salt water flush. Forever, named SWF in my posts. This consists of 2 tsp of sea salt mixed in with 1 liter of water. This has to be drank quickly and then after be close to the toilet. Enough said!

I am half way through my first day and I am feeling fine. I am working on getting the lemonade down and not looking forward to my SWF! Anywho I will now finish my post with what I would eat right now if I could eat something. AKA "what I am craving".

Biscuits- Fluffy ones from Monument Cafe. With a big slab of real butter from Truluck's.

Fried Chicken- this one is funny because I really don't like fried chicken at all. But I want about 16 pieces of fried chicken. The kind my mom used to make in that cast iron skillet, when I was like 8!!!!

Okra- Well done from Golden Fried

Coleslaw- From KFC, BABY!

and to wash it all down a big freaking glass of tea, two splenda's please!

Side Note: I really hope I have the willpower to get through this!

i guess in my world everything blows up.

2009-03-23T22:58:00.000-05:00

This is coming real time from the blackberry so forgive the format and lack of pic till tomorrow.

I am not sure I will ever be able to top tonight. This will give you a real view into my crazy ass mind.

I am laying in bed just now, watching tv. The house is quiet and I am rubbing my feet together to put myself to sleep. When all of a sudden I hear a very loud rumbling, shaking crazy ass sound coming from the tv.I jump up and run over to the tv area and start picking up everything. I am beyond panic mode I am freaking out. I pick up the cable box terrified its going to electrocute me nothing.I lift the entire table my tv is on nothing. I look to the wires behind the tv and I realize shit something is about to blow up and the surge protector is going to explode.

I open the bedroom door and scream to my x. Get in here something is about to blow up. I pass him and stand far away then I realize I have to get my son out of this house. I am headed to be a hero when I hear my x say uhhhh. I turn around and go back to the danger zone my x then looks at me and then at the drawer in the table my tv is on.

Omg! In that moment I realize I am an idiot. I realize I just freaked the fuck out. My heart is beating out of my chest and I am cracking the hell up. All that screamimg and all I can think is thank god my son didn't wake up.

So what was it? Well my little green vibrator had turned itself on and was vibrating the drawer. Man was that loud too damn funny.

I wonder....

2009-03-20T10:49:00.000-05:00

1. Is it really legal to go 5 miles over the speed limit?

2. Why no one told me super gluing my tire was wrong?

3. Why the day after you drink a lot, you can see better?

4. Why drinking blue drinks make you poop blue?

5. Why men don't have manners, smacking is not cool.

Tin Truths 25

2009-03-19T15:42:00.002-05:00

1. I went to Fado's for St. Patricks day and didn't have one green beer.

2. I really wish my new cat would get a new home.........

3. Is looking forward to life getting back to normal after spring break.

4. I sometimes wish in the workplace girls would act more like boys!!!

5. I have been horny for like 88 days I think I am heat.

6. I wish everyone could be in Austin during SXSW week.

7. As of today I officially have a white trash yard.

8. Has decided Sunday is my official catch up on my blogs day.

9. I have a huge bruise on my hand and it sucks.

10. I really, really, really need some food...

I want too...........

2009-03-17T13:33:00.002-05:00

Rock out with my Cock out

man that cracks me up and I love saying it. Yes, I am 34 and I just heard that the other day. Anywho I decided to make up a few of my own.

Makeout with my Snake out

Stroll out with my Pole out

a friend came up with

Shove out with my Love out

Hang out with my Wang out

Go ahead give me your best one. I am super excited over this post. Its just not fair that boys get to have all the fun and all the fun sayings. If I had a penis for a day I would just walk around and slap people with it. I think there is something wrong with me.

Side Note: Yes, I know I am dork. Little things people, little things.

Side Note 2: Ask your friends for there slang version too, it will get addicting. I have been walking around and making up sayings for two days. Cracking myself up right now.

Tin Truths Twenty Four

2009-03-13T09:48:00.002-05:00

1. I am afraid to admit that I like a few "lady gaga" songs.

2. Today I am going to buy reading glasses at walgreen's......dont ask.

3. I have been craving cereal all week and last night honey bunches of oats hit the spot.

4. I started making ranch out of the packets and I love it.

5. My second sex toy review is coming in the next couple of days.

6. We came home to dead hamsters.

7. and I hate the kitty kat

8. I am starting to come out of my funk, I think

9. I can't wait for the "Old Settlers Festival"

10. Tonight I will see a band called "Pride and Joy", I hope they are good.

Maybe it's just the wine.....

2009-03-08T17:35:00.002-05:00

or maybe its just me. Do you ever feel like you are just going through the motions? Does it ever piss you off? Its funny, I read venus and mars. Why did I read it? Maybe it was because I wanted to understand the differences in men and women. Maybe it was because I wanted to understand the role I played in failed relationships. Why, does it really matter. I get that men are physical and women are emotional. That's what makes us so different. That's what sets us apart and that is what drives the assumption on both parties. I am in a situation I don't want to be in. My ex still hasn't moved out of my house. This was suppose to happen every week for the past 12 weeks. It hasn't because. I am emotional and him leaving is also because I am emotional. Because I feel emotion, because I have a heart. But that heart has done nothing but bring me heartache. Being the nice person letting people walk on me. I feel violated in the worst way, violated for the very same thing that women seem to get a beating for daily. Not a beating in the literary term, but a beating because of our emotions. Are we jaded, bitchy, on our period, depressed give me a fucking break. Maybe we are just feeling what you are incapable of feeling. Maybe it just not that fucking deep. I understand hormones, I understand before any other person in my life when my body is going through monthly changes. Hello, I am 34 and I get it I am living in it. I also understand that not everything can be chalked up to that. When women have been in bad relationships or have commitment issues it always seems that there is some man standing on the outside looking in saying oh she is jaded. No, I am not jaded, I am smart and over it and deserve something more. Deserve someone to give me that same emotion back in my life. I am a single mom, I don't use it as a crutch and I don't expect any special treatment. But until you are in my shoes you will never understand it. I don't want to clean up after another person man or women. I don't want to have to hear your opinions when you offer nothing positive to me in return. This can be said for women and men in my life. I get that I have major trust issues, they are mine and I will own them. But I also understand what I have to give and me expecting more is not a fault and does not make me jaded.

Its funny when I write I worry so much about what you will think or where the fuck my commas are. Its ridiculous and it pisses me off, makes me mad at me for caring what you might think, for wondering what you might assume. For feeling like I have to double explain myself so I am not perceived as jaded, bitchy, prejudice and a million other adjectives that I don't feel like googling right now.

I started this blog because I wanted a place to say whatever I wanted and put it out there for who ever wanted to read it. Yes my blog is pink and girly that is me. But its also soulful and real. We are people, we all want to be heard, understood and loved. I don't visit your blogs everyday. I don't comment on every post I read. I don't keep my house spotless. I pay my bills late. I stay in pajamas entire weekends sometimes and dread the sound of my phone ringing. I procrastinate. I yell at my son sometimes when he has done nothing wrong. I am not perfect, I am me.

I don't need an intervention. I am fine, I just wish people could understand me. Especially the ones that are in my life daily. Come to my blog and read it because it brings you something, not because I may or may not visit yours. I am real, I have feelings and today I am down. Tomorrow I will pick myself up and be that funny, happy, cotton candy, girl. Until then........you get the real me.

The rest of the story...............

2009-03-06T03:20:00.000-06:00

Paul Harvey is a legend. My mom and my stepdad turned me on to him years ago. My mom to this day says "and the rest of the story is". Listening to Paul Harvey was like watching an episode of Little House On The Prarie. Every story had a moral to it.

He dies last weekend at 90 and he will be missed.

To read the story click here.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/02/28/paul.harvey.obit/index.html?section=cnn_latest

Google is as google does.

2009-03-05T03:17:00.001-06:00

Okay, so everybody posts their favorite google pic. I always though that was sooooooooo gay. Until today!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here ya go.

Side Note: What was your favorite Dr. Seuss?

Mom, this is an air compressor...Part 2 of 2

2009-03-04T03:01:00.000-06:00

We finally figured out that the air valve thingy was leaking so I went back in the store and bought super glue. When I came back outside there was a maroon "hooptie" with ghetto rims parked super close to my car. A hispanic was drivng this car, mid 30"s and believe it or not he was wearing a white shirt with Chronic or something on the front of it. Now, I am not even going to debate some stereo type bs with any of you, this is my damn story so deal with it.

After I super glue this thing to my tire I stand up and realize that I can't find my wallet. I start looking everywhere, thinking maybe the wind blew it away. The whole time my son is staring down the mexican in the next car and yes, at this point in the story I can call him "mexican" if I want. In my mind I am thinking my son shouldn't be staring this poor man down. A few minutes later the "mexican" goes int the store and my son is close behind. I yell to my son "baby, it's not in the store". About 5 minutes later my son comes out. When I see him I know that something is wrong. He is already tall but in these few seconds he looks like he has grown about 5 feet taller and he is pissed!!!!!!!!

He gets in the car and gives me my wallet. I immediately ask if that man had it. He matter of factly tells me to check my wallet right now and to make sure that everything is in it.

Apparently my son thought the guy was shady. He followed him in the store and hid behind an isle. When the guy was coming around the corner my son jumped out and saw him stuffing my wallet in his pants. At that moment he told the guy "give me that right now" and the guy did.

People always give that look when I say I am a single mom. Like they feel sorry for me. I am the luckiest girl in the world and although it was scary that he did stand up for me, I am very proud of him for doing so. I love you, B.

Side Note: I guess I did something right? or did I?

Side Note 2: Yes I have that wallet and yes I love it.

Mom, this is an air compressor...Part 1 of 2.

2009-03-03T14:46:00.000-06:00

Yes, I am a girly girl. I am the girl at the gas station who opens her hood and has no freaking idea how to check her oil. So yeah, the dikes hate me and the boys love me.

A few days ago, my low tire pressure light comes on. Since I was going out of town, I decide to have my son try and figure this out. We pull up to the air pump thing and I get my .75 ready. Then I hand it over to the boy and tell him to go to work. My son says "mom, what are we even doing", uhhhhhhhhhh I have no idea. I tell him "we are going to put air in the tire". I have never put air in my tires, so I was clueless. I tell my son to just start putting air in it. Here is where it gets funny.

He puts air in my tire for about 5 seconds and then he stops. Then another 5 seconds and then he stops. I finally tell him, too just keep putting air in it and to stop stopping. He then looks at me with the most serious look ever and says:

"Mom, do you even know what we are dealing with here? This is an air compressor and if we aren't careful, this whole thing is going to blow up".

So maybe reading it isn't funny but, I am the biggest hypoconriacte and in that moment I realized he is my child.

Side Note: and then I got robbed............................................

It's a girl......

2009-03-02T02:20:00.003-06:00

Mom, don't freak out!!! I am not pregnant I repeat, I am not pregnant!!!!

So, last weekend I left to go see my best friend from high school. It was a blast to say the least but, this isn't what that is about. I left my house on Friday afternoon, I gave my son the normal paranoid mom warnings and went on my way. No, he wasn't left alone! About 10 o'clock Friday night I get a call from my son and it starts out like this:

Son: Mom, Just hear me out and please don't say no.

Me: We are not getting a pet.

Son: But Mom, this kitty just followed me home.

Me: SHIT!

So, I proceed to tell my son that we are not keeping that cat. No way, no how. If you read my blog than you know that my cat died in December and it broke my heart. Blackie was my cat's name and he had been through alot with me. As most know I am a single mom and this cat is the only one that I actually let see me break down. He was loyal when noone else was. But, that is beside the point.

So I get the call and I tell my son, hell no! I speak to my X and tell him, hell no. At this point I think, problem solved. Until, I wake up Saturday mornig to 3 picture mail messages. Do you think they were from my son, no. They are from the only adult in the house, my X, with captions about how cute this cat is. I am sooooooooooo in trouble.

Saturday, I go to have oysters with my GF's at the bar and I get told that these boys are working me. The whole weekend I stand my ground, and say hell no.

Sunday I walk in my door and guess who greets me? You guessed it kitty kat (yes that is what I named him, original I know). So they introduce me to this "boy" cat. "he" jumps up on me and doesn't leave my side for the rest of the night. "He" was so cute, almost like he knew "he" had to make a good impression.

Tuesday comes around and I am in love. But, then I find out the "he" is a "she", ugh. But, everyday the kitty does something more to win me over. She is so sweet, she loves on me and gives me kisses. Needless to say I am in love.

Bottom line: team, meet "kitty kat". "kitty kat" meet team.

Side Note: Am I a sucker, or is this meant to be?

Finish This Sentence

2009-02-24T01:27:00.003-06:00

Finish This Sentence

Your turn...Share

1. My ex...will realize it, when it's too late

2. Maybe I should...think twice before being so intimate on FB.

3. I love....my life!

4. People would say that I'm...loyal.

5. I don't understand why..life is so complicated

6. When I wake up in the morning.....I am immediately ready to start my day.

7. I lost my..... ability to say no to a cute kitty kat.

8. Life is full of.... unanswered questions.

9. My past is... just that my past!

10. I get annoyed... with stupidity.

11. Parties are.... great with the right company.

12. I wish.... my sister was still alive.

13. Dogs… sloppy and loud.

14. Cats.... are loyal.

15. Tomorrow....I will finish a major spreadsheet.

16. I have low tolerance....for people with no sense of urgency.

17. If I had a million dollars... I would start a homeless shelter.

18. I'm totally terrified... of the dark.

19. My spouse is.... someone I hope is out there for me.

20. My life is...filled with a beautiful son, an amazing mother and great friends and family

The Mix Tape

2009-02-20T14:09:00.000-06:00

So I totally stole this from Facebook and I love it.

Write down 20 songs you can't imagine going very long without listening to. Don't take more than 10 minutes to do this.

1. My Kinda Lover- Billy Squire

2. Giving It for your love- Delbert McClinton

3. Reach Out-Breedlove

4. Wedding Day-Rosie Thomas

5. Realize Colbie Calbert

6. Dont do me like that- Tom Petty

7. Coming Around Again- Carly Simon

8. Everything things going to be alright-Bob Marley

9. Slacker- Tech Nine

10 No one -Alicia Keys

11. Jack and Diane-John Cougar

12. Footloose-Footloose

13. i'm yours - Jason Miraz

14. Only you - Yaz

15. It's tricky - Run Dmc

16. Amaratine enya

17. Wild world- Cat Stevens

18. Babys gotten good at goodbyes- George Straight

19. Margaritaville-Jimmy Buffet

20. Moon Gone Down-The Gourds

Side Note: My mix sooooooo beats your mix!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tin Truths 23

2009-02-19T12:34:00.002-06:00

1. I am gone for 5 days and I got a new follower...that is awesome

2. Tomorrow I leave for San Antonio to see a friend I haven't seen in years.

3. People with no sense of urgency make me crazy.

4. I wonder why the small fry and coke at Mc Donald's are so freaking good.

5. All day I have been in Spreadsheet Hell.

6. I am finally going to return my Christmas present from the x, for a Coach I like!!!!!

7. Guitar Hero still rocks.

8. I feel really guilty when I go 5 days without blogging.......sorry guys!

9. I really wish my feet could wear sneakers.

10. I hate walking through the grass in my backyard. All because 5 years ago a neighbor saw a snake!

Valentines Day Shout Outs

2009-02-14T12:40:00.003-06:00

To all the married people- Well you made it this far so I hope you go to sleep tonight in a big wet spot.

To all the newlyweds- Don't overdue it! You are going to have years of this bullshit. I hope you go to sleep in a big wet spot.

To all the couples- You will have the best Valentines of all, you are still in the testing stages. Therefore, I hope you don't go to bed in a wet spot.

To all the single people- We are the luckiest of them all. Tomorrow we will still be single. I hope you go to sleep in a big wet spot.

To Jag- I know when you woke up this morning and heard the conversation in the other room, it hurt a little. I am soooooo proud of you for not crying. You are way better off. We have such an exciting year ahead of us. I know tonight you wont go to bed in a big wet spot. So pull out that bad ass rabbit and think about all the other people that will. That is sure to do the trick.

Side Note: I hate Valentines Day. I always have, I think its overrated. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving and I can't wait for November.

GO AHEAD SEND A SHOUT OUT

SEND IT TO ANYONE

JUST SEND ONE.

I just have to know....

2009-02-13T14:50:00.002-06:00

can lizards become rabid or rabies struck or whatever you call it. I know you guys think I must go to bed with lizard nightmares, but I don't. I actually like to watch them I just don't like it when they start acting like loonies.

I was outside a few minutes ago and this lizard jumped from the table to a charcoal bag. Then he started moving his mouth really fast. Like he was talking, it was weird and I didn't like it. All I kept thinking is this rabies infested fucker better not jump on me. I then proceeded inside where I will stay until he founds a new area to terrorize.

Side Note: Everyone enjoy your weekend.

Tin Truths Twenty Two

2009-02-12T10:48:00.003-06:00

1. I finally got to play with my darts on Tuesday and I love them.

2. The quotes on the starbuck's cups are gay!

3. Every time I get a pain in my chest I think I am going to have a heart attack.

4. This will be my first Valentines day as a single girl in 4 years, and I love it.

5. I really love Afroman's song Colt 45.

6. I don't like oregano, garlic or cilantro.

7. I never get tired of hearing the church bells that ring every hour.

8. I had a horrible dream last night that Blackie came back from the grave.

9. I hope I never have that dream again it was creepy

10. Some days I wish I was a turtle, today isn't one of them.

Here is the rest of the story!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-11T01:47:00.005-06:00

Tonight I went to the bar and played my weekly night of poker. I didn't win and that's not even the point. About a month ago, I met this gentleman who was a lot older and was a successful business man. I was the young girl at the table as I normally am, and he was an elder. Throughout the night this man and I had some interesting conversations. At one point we started talking about the homeless, a subject I am very passionate about. A subject that I can promise, you don't want to debate about with me. Why? Because I will win. During this conversation the "elder" asked me what I would do if I had unlimited money to devote to the homeless.

I explained to him that I felt like homelessness wasn't just about drug addicts, alcoholics and the mentally ill. I told him this was my passion and I believed that the problem was that we weren't helping these people from the inside out. I am not a naive girl! I realize that there are people out there that choose this life. But I also believe with all my heart that there are also people out there that know, no other way. If you sleep on the streets and you get used to the lifestyle, a part of you starts to believe that this is you. Your self esteem gets depleted and in a lot of ways you get broke down. How is this any different than women that are abused? How is this any different than children that grow up in homes that are anything but healthy? I don't care if you are on drugs, a drunk or just mentally beat down. I believe that we all deserve a chance, and who are any of us to say if and when these people have blown through there chances. I told him that if I had unlimited money, I would help these people mentally. I wouldn't shave them, feed them, give them clean clothes and send them on there way. I would try and help them from the inside. To help them fill full and whole again. I am in no way a saint. But I can tell you that I have no right to throw stones, and those people are no better than you and I. That night the "elder" told me about how much money he had. About how I should come in there on Monday and "pitch" this to him. About how he had so much money and he could help. Bullshit, you are just some fucking guy in a bar. Some guy that has no idea where these people come from.

Fast Forward to tonight. I see the same guy. Do you think he remembers me? NO! Do you think he remembers our conversation? NO!

So tonight me being the "young in" that I am. He again decides to go deep. I am so up for the challenge. He asks me what I think about the economy and what I think is going to happen to us as a country.

This is what I told him. I am a 34 year old woman with a 14 year old son and I have never been so scared in my life. Everyday I feel the doom and gloom all around me and its eats me up inside. I still think of myself as a child and in these moments I feel more grown up then I ever have. Am I scared, hell yeah. How could I not be. But I am a devil's advocate kind of girl So for me the worst case scenario is a given. I tell him that I refuse to live in fear over this one topic. I tell him that I relate this to "little house on the prairie". They lived without electricity, they lived for each other off the land. NO, I am not a tree hugger. I too have taken more than I have needed just like the rest of us. But our worst case is what. Our worst case scenario is this. If things get really bad then as a country we start to combine efforts. Children move in with mom's, Grandmother's move in with Children. As a country we come together as a unit. We reach out and we help our neighbor. Bottom lime we will all get through this together. That is what America is about. We show our strength and our unity and no matter how bad it gets we give the next generation something to be proud of. Just like the generations before us. We find unity and this brings us closer, how can that be a bad thing in the end. After this conversation the "elder" tells me I should come work for him. What a joke! I tell him "you can't afford me" you don't even get it.

I believe in my hearts of heart that I am a good person. I don't know where I stand with God and in some ways that gives me an easy way out. It would be so easy to blame him for all that is wrong. The sad part of that is that the older I get I realize that all that is wrong, we have caused. What a sad revelation.

People get over yourself, we are all scared. If you are reading this thinking I am being dramatic, well than you are full of shit. I am just speaking what so many of us are afraid to voice. We are all scared. Its not about being scared its about how we deal with it.

Sorry to be soooooooo blah. But as Christina says " life isn't all peace, love and unicorns".

NRTR #88

2009-02-10T23:54:00.000-06:00

It makes me laugh to think that the whole reason I started blogging, was because of my X. I didn't want my family to have to hear about the escapades one more time and I thought it would be a great place to vent, to speak my mind and ultimately a place for just me. Last night I went back and read all my posts from the beginning. I wanted to see how far I had come and in that I realized how truly RANDOM I am. My writing is all over the place so thanks for "getting" me and sticking around.

My X is still just that an X. I had initially thought that we were going to be able to stay friends. UHHHHH no, not the case. No need to even get into details. But I will tell you this. People don't change. They may be able to change habits, but the core of who that person is will never change. I am looking forward to lots of meaningless hook-ups in 09. I have had one so far at it made me realize that maybe I need to be changing my age group to 40 and above, lol.

Work has been crazy busy and at the end of the day my brain is truly fried! I have to get a laptop within the next month. Any Advice?

My son is awesome as always. I didn't think a set of drums would change his life as much as it has. I knew I would hear deafening banging for eternity but I didn't know my garage would turn into the 8th grade clubhouse. It's cool though. Everyday it amazes me how different boys are from girls. I never had a brother so this is my first experience with boys. It has taught me a lot, he is so laid back and just has different priorities. Last night he informed me that Saturday afternoon the party was in his domain, lol. How great it must be to have no worries.

That's really all I have folks. Have a great Tuesday!

Insert Creative Title Here............

2009-02-09T11:07:00.002-06:00

-I really love vanilla yogurt with honey. When you put honey in yogurt, it hardens a bit like candy. It so freaking yummylicious.

-Yesterday Afternoon I was mad that I still hadn't received my darts. Damn UPS Man....Last Night I went and checked my mail and there were my darts. So that's what they meant by standard mail? Major blond moment, they had been here since Friday.

-My Son is loving his drums and has made the garage into his man-cave.

-I find myself saying "turn that down" more and more and I hate it.

-I am an amazing kisser! I don't even really need to be told, I am that confident. To me there is nothing sexing then a great kiss.

-I wish it was still Friday.

-It's raining here and I have decided to wear my pink sock monkey pj's all day!

How was your weekend?

Side Note: Yes I have those PJ's! They were my Christmas eve gift from my son.

Side Note 2: My uncle got me the same ones. I kept both pairs :)

Crazy joke from an old guy at the bar.

2009-02-06T13:33:00.003-06:00

If it takes 5 coconuts to make a 1/2 pint of coconut oil..............where does baby oil come from?

No Sex Before Marriage....

2009-02-05T23:59:00.004-06:00

...........NOT!

I don't know what is happening but I am stuck in song- one liner mode, and it's killing me. First it was "if you want it then you better put a ring on it". Next I moved on to "only the cool people", then "hi-hat with a suped-up tempo" and now "no sex before marriage". wtf?

So I have to tell you that I am truly shocked at how many people don't know what Frito Pie is. Seriously, do they only have these in Texas? If I was creative enough, I would do an ode to Frito Pie because it's freaking awesome. It's crunchy, gooey, golden-ness. "so all you fly brothers" do you see, I just can't stop. Any who here is the best way to eat it.

Heat a can of Homel chili, then take a small bag of Fritos, cut the top off, and pour the chili on top of the Fritos. Waahlah its that simple. Now you can add cheese, onions, queso, jalp....well you get the picture. This stuff is a Texas staple and if you haven't had it, make it tonight!

Does anyone else have a similar story with food they eat, but others are clueless about?

Side Note: Don't even get me started on eggo's and no they aren't waffles!

Side Note 2: Was does the spork always make the food taste better?

What I want to know......

2009-02-05T10:13:00.006-06:00

Today I am going to change things up a little. Tin Truths will be back next Thursday. Today I need answers and I want to know some of your truths. So go ahead and play or just keep lurking, lol.

1. How does the dryer catch fire from drying?

2. Do you prefer short blogs or long blog posts?

3. What is one thing you wish you could have in your life right now? can't be money or love.

4. Do you like to hear bird chirping?

5. What is the one product that you can't live without?

6. What is the most embarrassing song on your ipod?

7. What is your worst/best quality?

8. What is the weirdest food you like to eat?

9. If you could go anywhere right now, where would it be?

10. Do you believe Obama will make a change?

Side Note: The dryer is $300. It's vintage and if you want to buy it click here.

Holy Cow..........

2009-02-04T17:28:00.003-06:00

I just saw this over at "Life of a Nguyener" and I had to post it on my blog. Everyone has to watch this, if you haven't already. The little boy David just got out of the dentist.

Is it Weird?

2009-02-03T11:59:00.004-06:00

Is it weird that.............

I keep singing "if you like it then you better put a ring on it"

When I go to sleep I play guitar hero in my head

When I am in the bathroom and busy, that sometimes I have to check for snakes coming from the sewer

I have lengthy conversations with myself

After a night of drinking I can see better

I still crave mashed potatoes with lemon juice

I can chug Red Bull

I tried a few days ago to lick my elbow for like 7 minutes, all cause someone said you couldn't

just wondering..............

Side Note: Yes I ordered those darts and no they aren't here yet

Bonnaroo........

2009-02-03T10:50:00.004-06:00

I have brought up Bonnaroo before, and most of you were like WTF? Bonnaroo is a musical festival held in TN and to says its big, is an understatement. Last Year in April, my X and I decided we would make the trip in June. At first I was a little weary but going VIP changed my mind quickly. Me being the researcher I am, took the next couple of months to research everything I could about the festival. The weather, the food, you name it I researched it.

This festival is absolutely massive, 80K people massive. Its a 4 day festival on a huge farm and everyone camps out for the duration. Inside the farm there are two camp areas one called general admission and one called VIP. I was in VIP! Over 4 days they bring in a ton of amazing musicians, comedians, etc. They literally turn this farm into a mini city that resembles a circus/carnival/festival.

I was so excited when I went last year because in one setting I was going to see BB King, Willie Nelson, Pear Jam, Metallica, OAR, Chris Rock and the list goes on. The festival didn't disappoint. Seeing BB King was one of the coolest shows I have ever seen and Pearl Jam rocked it. Yes, I just said rocked it. Inside the "city" there was so much to do. Film tents, comedy tents and more music than you could imagine.

I had one of the best times ever. I met a great group of friends and had a bit of an awakening. Not in a tree hugging, psychedelic, trippy awakening. But more like a kumbaya awakening, lol. To see that many people in one setting, all happy to be there and all experience the same thing but in different ways. Well, it had to of been how Woodstock felt on a smaller scale.

Last night I stayed up and couldn't wait for the 09' lineup to be announced. I wondered how could they possibly top 08'.

this is how.

Bruce Springsteen, Beastie Boys, Nine Inch Nails, Snoop Dog, WILO, Merle Haggard, MGMT, Al Green and the list goes on and on.

So yes I am now trying to figure out how to make this possible again.

Side Note: I had the most amazing beer when I was there "Sweetwater Blue" and I can't wait to get me some more. It has a blueberry flavor, love it, love it, love it.

Brown Chicken Brown Cow

2009-02-02T12:07:00.006-06:00

How is it that I am 34 and two weeks ago was the first time that I ever heard this. I am hip to the bow chicka bow wow days. Furthermore, why can't I stop saying it. I feel like a teenager that just heard Bangkok for the first time.

So in typical random fashion here goes.

Toothpaste- If you can't stand the cap off the toothpaste I am not the girl for you . In an effort to clean up my tp act, I bought the stand up tube. Note to others: All toothpaste gets dry if you don't replace the cap, ughggggg.

Drinking the Koolaid- Bottom line I need more of you to drink the jag koolaid. I will be changing some things up very soon. Including a post on Sunday's for the boys! It will be full of T&A, beer, sports, new! Your Welcome, Ken!

Pink Darts- Save it I already, I know how obsessed I am. I thought this game was a retarded boy game. After playing now 11 times I am freaking hooked. So in order to make it a little more girly, I ordered pink darts and they come in today.

Post Secrets- Seriously I don't like this site. I go there here and again to make sure I don't like it. Every time after about 5 minutes of reading I feel doom and gloom, not fun folks.

Finally, humor me! Tell me something you did this weekend, Tell me a random fact, Tell me what snack you ate while watching the game. I don't care but TELL ME SOMETHING. I want all lurkers to post, say hi, post blank, I don't care just post.

Side Note: I apologize in advance for getting this title stuck in your head.

Side Note 2: Actually I don't!

Side Note 3: For all the of you that don't GET IT. Brown chicken brown cow sounds alike like old 60-70's porn. You know Bow chicka Bow wow?

To B:

2009-02-01T15:05:00.004-06:00

14 years ago today I fell in love with you. The day you were born it changed my life forever. You in that instant became the most precious person in my life. For weeks and weeks I watched you sleep, smile, laugh and grow. Today you are 14 and you have grown into such a beautiful young man. You tower me now and instead of "mom" I get called "shorty", thank you for that I love it. I am so proud of the man you are becoming. You humor is infectious to all around you and your smile takes my breath away. I know in a lot of ways we are raising each other. We are such a great team and we have perfected the " learn as you go". Yes, as I am writing this, tears are streaming down my face. Not because I am sad, but because I am so proud to be your mom. I know it will be years before you read this. But when you do know that today was a wonderful day. You played your drums and yes your mom is attempting to make a carrot cake. I love you so much. Happy Birthday Baby.

Love,

Shorty (aka, mom)

I love #9

2009-01-31T15:03:00.001-06:00

I love me some lipgloss. Absolutely love it! One of my swapfest gifts was a trio of lipgloss by, benefit. I tend to only buy pink and clear lipgloss and I am very picky. When I got this set there were all sorts of colors in there. Gold, a purplish color etc. Everyone one of these lip glosses looks great on. The lip gloss itself is very thin which I love. This set won't be around for long so if you love it, get one quick.

Peace Love & Glossmate Set, by benefit ($26)

My First Interview.

2009-01-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

Jormengrund had a post about interview questions and I jumped on board. So here goes.

1. You and your son are quite the pair. Define a "perfect" moment in your lives.

I know this is where I am suppose to say some deep moment that makes all you go awww. But I cant! I can't just pick one moment, its not even possible. Every moment with my son is perfect. When I was young I never wanted kids. My son has changed my life in so many amazing ways. Every Day I think I only get this day with him once, I live by this. I love his humor, his love and at this age his crazy ass ways. He truly does complete me.

2. What would be your "ideal man" if he existed?

For the record I think he exits, I just don't think he exists right now. I am a very independent, strong minded person. I want a man who not only understands that, but appreciates it. In that same breath I want a man strong enough to handle me, accept me, and calm me in times of my craziness. I always joke about money, but in reality I can make my own. I want a man who isn't jealous. One who is funny, honest and definitely not a hermit. Last but not least....My son has to like him! They don't have to love each other. But if my son doesn't like him there is no chance. Been there done that. I believe my prime age for marriage or settling down is 45. At that time I believe there will be plenty of the men above.

3. You have a list of 35 things to do before you turn 35. If you don't complete them, will it become 40 things to do before you turn 40, and what, if any, will change because of your age?

I will complete my 35 before 35. The list isn't about doing these things because of my age. I made this list to remind myself to make these next few months about me. To give myself an excuse to do things for me. I am going to make it a point to make one of these lists ever year.

4. You love girly-type things, and pink! Name something completely un-girly that you have as some kind of "mannish" secret.

I am very girly. I don't change oil or fix tires and I don't like to get dirty at all. I do love to fish. However, I don't like to bait my hook or take the fish off, sick!!!!! That being said I think its only fair to tell you this. When I go I have a pink pole, pink chair, pink lures and pink ice chest. That is no joke!

5. If you had one dream of yours that could come true, regardless of how outlandish it could be, what would you pick, and why?

If I only had one dream it would be that my son goes to college. That he Finds a nice normal woman and has a life with very few downs.

Jormen, thank you so much this was a lot of fun. I will pass on the tradition if anyone wants 5 interview questions let me know!

Side Note: Those are my interview shoes.

Tin Truths 21

2009-01-29T11:47:00.004-06:00

1. Last night I had frito pie and cookies

2. I am now hooked on Rockstar "shots"

3. I can feel tension in the air everywhere, its a strange feeling

4. I cringe when I drive through the toll road thingy

5. My son turns 14 on Sunday and I am trying to find drums.

6. I think I want a new kitty

7. Stupid people........drive me crazy.

8. Family and Friends have been off lately

9. I love adding machines

10. I don't like it when you take a drink, and you can feel it go all the way down.

Side Note: is it just me or does #7 sound like a country song?

WA #4

2009-01-28T12:44:00.003-06:00

Go ahead you know you want to play.

Spoon :: Fed

Dice :: Damp

Mirror :: Mirror

Poster :: Child

Restroom :: Raiders

Creative :: Minds

Mice :: Men

Sex :: Talk

Taffy :: Taker

Lover :: Lock

Side Note: I want that pillow!

duck, duck, goose

2009-01-27T11:25:00.002-06:00

Okay not really. Today I got tagged by Linda at "Silly Little Mischief". So here goes.

Make a list of things you can see without getting up:I am in my dream office to many things to list. flowers, candles, pics.

What were you like when you were five? Beautiful, talented, cute.....uhhh probably a brat.

What are you wearing now? a grey amy's ice cream shirt, blue pajama bottoms and a hello kitty bandanna on my head. Not so cute.

What story/book/novel have you read over and over again in your life? Gone with the Wind.

What’s the last thing you read/are currently reading? I hope there's beer in hell.

Do you nap a lot? No hardly ever. For some reason when I nap I wake up in a really, really bad mood.

Who was the last person you hugged? J

What’s your current fandom/obsession/addiction? Jason Miraz

What was the last thing you ate today? Boiled Egg

What was the last thing you said aloud? brown chicken brown cow

What websites do you always visit when you go online? MSNBC, Facebook, Sephora and BOA

What was the last thing you bought? Lip Gloss from Sephora

What are you listening to right now? The Gourds

What movie are (or were!) you most excited to show your kids? E.T.

If you could have any super power, what would it be? Invisibility

What is your favorite weather, and why? Sunny, and 70. I love the sun and a cool breeze always helps.

If you could eat anything right now what would it be? Sushi, Sashimi, Tuna Tartare, Sake, must I go on.

What is your most challenging goal right now? Losing 30 pounds.

Say something to the person who tagged you: Linda, I can't believe you own a snuggie. My step dad would be jealous.

If you could have a house–totally paid for, fully furnished–anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? Italy

Favorite vacation spot? Vegas Baby

What is your favorite children’s book? Winn Dixie

Name one thing you just can’t resist no matter how bad it is for you: Vodka

If you could meet anyone famous - dead or alive - who would it be? Gus Hansen

What is your Mom's best asset? I wish I had my mom's legs, they are beautiful. love u mom!

TAGGED: You know the drill, whoever wants to play can.

THE RULES:

Step 1: respond and rework—answer the questions on your own blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.

A funny thing happened to me.....

2009-01-26T11:57:00.003-06:00

at the bar. This weekend I went to the little neighborhood dive bar. To call it a dive is an understatement. This place is beyond dive but the people are great. SO i sit at the bar and the guy next to me says "wow, is that you. you smell great". I say yes of course I smell amazing. Not really, but you get the point. He then says "I just got a new cologne its called come to me. Does it smell like cum to u". The only reason that this made me laugh is because the guy was very old. Old and still kicking out one liners at the bar, classic.

My cousin called me Friday afternoon to tell me that she had just booked a trip to Paris. She leaves in 5 days, now that is a whim. This reminded me how easy it is to travel. I am adding get a passport, to my 35 before 35.

My mom loves Jason Miraz. I turned her onto him at Christmas and I think that's really cool.

Anyways here are my two deep thoughts for the day.

1. I think its really sad when people rub their face in traffic. Sometimes when I watch people do it I can feel their stress.

2. WTF is the deal with dateline, 48 hours etc. I realize they want there to be drama, but give me a break. These shows could be wrapped up in like 5 minutes, its grueling to watch. Especially when they take 5 minutes of show time to show you trees in the dark with dunt, dunt, dunt music. UGH!

Side Note: I read over 60 blogs, not even joking. I am always there reading. My mom made a comment that i haven't been commenting enough. So today I vow to make up for it. Sorry yall!

35 before 35..............#9 done

2009-01-23T00:18:00.000-06:00

I admit I am off to a slow start on my 35 things to do before I turn 35. #9 was to give a homeless person a meal. I am not even sure why this one was on there, since I do this often.

Two Sunday's ago my cousin and I went to Starbucks and I completed my #9. I have always been the girl to give money and food to the homeless. My mom since I was little has always said give food not money. I bought the gentleman a sandwich, orange juice and a cookie. It makes me happy to know that he had a meal that day and when he said "God Bless You" I knew he meant it.

My dream is too win the lottery, or marry rich...lol. When I do, I will have my own homeless shelter. It wont just be about the shelter, it will be about helping those I can from the inside.

Side Note: 1 down 34 to go.

Tin Truths Twenty

2009-01-22T10:10:00.002-06:00

1. Boiled eggs peel easier when you boil them in salt water.

2. On Tuesday, I beat two tables of boys in poker

3. I still need a new inspection sticker.

4. South Beach Diet is going to turn me into a chef

5. Obama's speech gave me goose bumps

6. My nose is raw from allergy's, raw!

7. I am so glad I found my two girlfriends from high school.

8. Still now wine, Still going through withdraw

9. I want to start bike riding, in search of pink bike.

10. My son turns 14 in 9 days, I am old!